.
Elizabeth Gracen stole millions that should have fed these children and those like them.
That toxic evil perverse abomanation Elizabeth Gracen sold My show The Amazing Race to Mr Celluloid Vomit Jerry Bruckheimer.
75% of global sales from that show should have fed the children above and those like them.
Jerry Bruckheimer everything He has ever made is a waste of film George Mellies Man In The Moon has more of a script that any of Bruckheimers vomit If anybody can watch Bruckheimers drivel without plucking out their eye balls and Fed Exing them to Ulan Bator you are a better person that I .
However producing drivel for The Great Unwashed is not a crime However Bruckheimer has stolen bread out of the mouths of children in the 3 rd world He knew The Amazing Race was mine He also knew that 75 percent from my show should have fed children in the 3 rd world.
I ramble on for pages of my hatred of that evil perverse toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen.
However I can explain My hatred of that abomanation Gracen in one sentence.
I spent 572 nights homeless on the streets of Paris crying Myself asleep in doorways or under bridges due to that abomanation Gracen.
The weeks leading up to Xmas 2005 I pleaded with that evil scum Elizabeth Gracen for some money back I spent xmas 2005 begging on the streets of Paris due to that evil perverse toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen at times I was to tired to even stand up from where I begged and I would piss in my pants to keep warm as I was doing that Gracen was spending my money can anybody wonder why I hate Gracen?.
To see that abomanation Elizabeth Gracen go to jail will be the greatest day of My life.
Elizabeth Gracen screwed that hick sack of shit Bill Clinton to obtain a Miss Arkansas crown and it is still screwing Clinton now and the cracker protects Gracen from prosecution.
That is well documented elsewhere also.
Elizabeth Gracen stole millions from myself and a charity I set up in my late daughters name to feed kids in the 3 rd world.
I talk more of the charity I tried to set up in my late daughters name further down but it would have been real not like morons that pretend to care about those in the 3 rd world for photo ops morons like Bono He owns 4 villas in France whilst pretending to care.
Another one is Oprah That awful woman owns 3 jets I lack the intelect to figure out how She can fly 3 at the same time how many children in the 3 rd world would just one of those jets feed.
We also have that moron Angelina "When Shall We 3 Meet Again Under Lightning Or In Rain" Jollie that pretends to care I know how that woman could earn millions for charity a sponsered spank Have Her dress as a sub.
I have been a naughy moron please spank me Headmaster 1 mil a stroke how many kids would that feed.
Children in the 3 rd world the innocents the victims of war those that have not read Wilfred Owen, Karl Von Clauswitz,Sung Su they are innocents they want but one thing to live.
I will talk briefly of the western media however I told of this in greater depth further down the western media have practised a news blackout either at the request of Clinton or Bruckheimer I never expected better from Newscorp anybody that works for one of Murdoch,s rags is not a journalist.
I expected better from The New York Times however Bill Keller is scum with the blood of children in the 3 rd world on His hands Bill Keller is made of the same stuff as those that did nothing as 6 million Jews went to the gas chamber.
People like Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters are just talking heads and neither of them are very well educated the person in the media I despise the most is Christiane Amampour as She has seen the blood in this world and She should know better Amanpour has the blood of children in the 3 rd world on Her hands by being part of a news blackout.
She May say She was just doing what She was told that did not work at Nurenburg and will not work now.
My daughters charity would have fed and provided meds for children in the 3 rd world that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen has their blood on its hands as sure as if it had gone into an orphanage with an MP5 and gunned them down.
Gracen stole millions from those children.
I tried to do good in this world I tried to make my daughters name live on in actions.
I once thought evil was My soul mate and that is the only word for Elizabeth Gracen EVIL.
I tried to do good in this world and only found perverse people that have not just worked against me but children in the 3 rd world that My daughters charity could have helped.
Their are things I would like to do that are diffcult I would love to show Clinton and Bruckheimer how Sai,s work I would love to fill up a 747 cargo with shit and drop in on the Eylesee.
I would love it for Jennifer Aniston to call me and say you know I am of Greek extraction care to join me to engage in a sex act that be agin the law in 3 states on the wrong side of The Mason Dixon.
They are diffcult things but kindness and decency should not be diffcult but it is I have searched the planet for kindness and decency and all I found was perversity and cruelty.
If I had but 3 wishes not one would be about money firstly I would wish that Elizabeth Gracen rots in a jail cell for 20 years so it can reflect what it has done to me.
Secondly I was the man I was before that evil abomanation Elizabeth Gracen raped My soul stole all My money and left me to die on the streets of Paris.
Finally a woman I once carried a torch for I will not validate Her by name but this is somebody that is worth over 100 mil and could have helped me so easy
But has spent years playing sick games with My head I wish She was a good and decent person single and intrested and that Her and I would follow the advice of the owl and the pussycat and go to sea.
That being a metophor for running away living a happy life in a Monet painting and making little people.
Everything I have ever done in my life including that abomanation Gracen was a substituite as I could not have this woman from Idaho.
She knows I would have been there for Her and when I needed Her help all I found was perversity.
Stunning on the outside but dark and ugly on the inside.
I can be reached by email on chris@chrishepburn.com
Or by telephone in France on ++ 33 6 8601 0528
I am no longer in France but that is a cell number that will find me.
I truly despise France as France put me throught 2 years of physcological torture.
That vile and perverse nation knows a lot about persecution.
Dreyfus.
Vichy.
Hepburn.
As for French intelectlism excuse me whilst I vomit that died in May 68.
I watched the mindless vapid fucks for 2 years locked in mindless consume cycles as I begged on the Blvd St Germain.
2 years of watching the mindless consume and take from the planet and no doubt buying Nextpresso coffee machines as that sack of shit Cobweb Clooney has told them to.
The fact that vile vulgar man Nicholas "Petain" Sarkozy can be elected as Prez speaks volumes of the lack of intelectual acuity of the French.
Love them or hate them but French prez,s come across with a certain aristrocratic air.
Sarkozy comes across like a manager of a K Mart store somewhere in Iowa.
I talk more of the perfidy of France further down Clinton pulled strings at the Eylsee and Bruckheimer pulled the strings of people in film in France for 2 years France raped my soul on a daily basis.
WHAT FRANCE DID TO ME WAS EVIL.
France is a vile and perverse nation to think France is a permenent member of The Security Council at The UN I would not entrust The French delagation to take out the trash without supervision.
This is something of a preamble to my website it is now June 2009 just typing 2009 seems so wrong wondering where all the years have gone.
I have not known a single day of happiness since Nov 8th 2002 due to that evil perverse vile insipid abomanation Elizabeth Gracen.
That evil vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen could keep every penny with my blessing if I could be the man I was before Gracen raped my soul.
I accept that their is something very wrong with my soul as I once thought that vile woman was my soul mate.
I use the word soul to mean a sense of self not in the Christian Judaic sense.
Everyday since Nov 8th 2002 has been a living death due to Elizabeth Gracen.
I have tried to get home to NYC for 4 years but Clinton has pulled strings at State so I cannot get home.
NYC was My friend and lover She taught me so much for years as I begged on the streets I dreamed of sitting in the back of a cab charging down the Van Wyck watching Manhattan get larger and locking myself in The Chelsea Hotel such an enchanting dive.
Their were times in Paris I would get drunk and talk to myself in a Bklyn accent as I was doing that Gracen was spending my money.
The US Dept Of State will not issue my passport I am a defacto refugee due to that vile evil abomanation Elizabeth Gracen.
Now that awful dog of a wife of his is Sec of State and that must rank as one of the most bizarre political appoitment,s ever.
Hillary Clinton as Sec Of State is like a Nazi running a Mikvah.
Gracen is nobody a 2 bit tv actress but it has got into Clintons ear and Clinton has pulled strings at State.
I have spent close to 3 years in a jail cell due to that evil vile perverse abomanation Elizabeth Gracen and 4 years on the streets or in Hogarthian hovels or hostels.
Again Gracen is nobody but it still screws that cracker sack of shit Clinton and He has made my life hell at Gracens request.
Bill Clinton is the personafacation of white trash and has abused every office He has ever held Clinton did not live in The White House He infested it.
Clinton is scum and comes across as a used car salesman He always reminded me of Boss Hogg from The Dukes Of Hazzard however Clinton is a powerful sack of shit I would love to meet Clinton one on one without His secret service detail the sack of shit would hurt.
My life has been a living death since Nov 8 th 2002 due to that vile evil toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen.
My little girl was murdered by Audrey Poetker an earlier partner can you even start to conceptualize what it is like to have your child murdered by your partner.
Audrey Poetker was just a silly little farm girl and hobby writer that was sexually abused by her father and all men have to pay for that but Gracen makes Macheveli and The Borgia,s look like sunday school teachers.
For years I have waited and hoped for somebody to come to my aid and to help me to heal but all I found was abject perversity.
At one time I so wanted this lady(SIC) from Idaho to come to my aid I once believed She was a good and decent person I was so sure She would have turned up on Xmas day 2005 as I begged on the streets of Paris.
I was waiting for Her to say to me Chris stop talking like that I am married sholder yes clit no.
Every part of me told me She would arrive that xmas but She never did nobody arrived and for 2 years as the blood of my soul flooded the Blvd St Germain this woman messed with my head.
Xmas day 2005 I was so sure She would arrive and say Chris get in next stop St Nicholas La Chapelle.
I spent Xmas day 2005 begging on the streets of Paris pulling lice from myself soaked to the skin looking for that vile woman listining for the sound of a DB9 had this felling She would turn up in one.
I was waiting for Her to say Chris this is my sholder cry your soul out and heal I am real She never did.
To embrace a metophor a wounded animal is in a cage one should tend to the wounds of the animal and set it free.
I was that wounded animal and this woman did not tend to my wounds and set me free but poked me with a stick.
She did that not because I have wronged Her but because She has been told to I once send Her a crystal rose but it only cost about $140 it did not say Harry Winston on the box or Van Cleef And Arpels it did not cost enought to even warrant a thank you.
2009 as I write this I am dead inside I will never ever know love their is not a woman on the planet I could trust and I will never ever hear a child say to me Dad I want a pony and a bottle of Jack Daniels.
All I want in this world is for that vile evil toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen to rot in jail justice if it ever comes will be orgasmic and would be like winning every lotto on the planet and fucking Ford,s and Elite,s list one after another.
Justice is all my soul craves.
Wisenthal,s desire for justice validated him and Ahab,s desire for justice destroyed him.
My desire for justice and seing Gracen be sent to jail would be the greatest day of my life.
However no judge on the planet can give me back all the years that vile evil toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen stole from me as they no longer exist likewise no judge can make me the man I was before Gracen raped my soul.
Their is no Judge,Doctor,Theologian,Philospher on the planet that can tell me what is wrong with me for once thinking Gracen was my soul mate.
I will never ever know joy or happiness again due to that evil woman.
I have scars on my wrists late 2000 Gracen spiked my drink with DMT or STP they effect the brain is a manner not unlike LSD but does not last as long I had some kind of breakdown and opened my wrists.
Those scars have long since healed but the scars that vile perverse evil abomanation Elizabeth Gracen has inflicted upon my mind will never ever heal.
I could have healed and become whole once more had I found kindness but all I found was cruelty and perversity.
Who was there for me when I needed help nobody who was there for me as I begged on the streets of Paris nobody.
I have asked myself for years what is the matter with me for once thinking I loved Gracen and I have no answers.
When one thinks they are in love they check nothing but later after Gracen took everything I had I ran its TRW (CREDIT REPORT) and found 16 adresses in LA whoever it was shacked up with for a bit part.
I think back to the first time I ever had the misfortune to set eyes upon Gracen it had a bit part in a show by Steven Canell most of LA was having a giggle Canell wants to act that is scary.
I went to see a friend that was working on the show and noticed Gracen I asked somebody to make some calls for me and to find out about Gracen and the reply I got was that Gracen would screw Lassie for a bit part if only I had listened.
I have come close to ending my life quite a few times I am at what Kubler Ross calls stage 5 all that has stoped me ending my life is a dream of sitting in a court room and seeing Gracen be carted off to jail.
I wish their was such a thing as Star Trek medcine where Jeri Ryan could wave something over my head and every thought of Gracen would be gone and after that for Jeri to demonstrate the works of Dr Keagel.
For years I tried to forget that abomanation Gracen I have had Jesus freaks in Paris telling me to forget Her if only I could that evil woman Elizabeth Gracen destroyed me and left me to die on the streets of Paris.
Today is June 18 th 2009 all the years that Gracen stole from me they are gone forever I cannot get them back.
I want to get on a plane and go to a Buddist Temple in Northern Thailand not that I am buddist but if I was anything I would be as Buddists have gentle hearts.
I talk of real Buddists not morons like Gere that uses images of His alledged faith to sell Lancia cars or Sharon "Thank God For Photoshop" Stone they embrace the faith as an image consultant has told them to.
However Thai Airways are not giving away free tickets I had hoped for years that that vile woman from Idaho may have felt some guilt and helped me but She never will the woman is bereft of any sense of kindness or decency.
Althought this is hardly a D.S.M classifacation I have lost my mind due to all the years of cruelty and perversity I just want to get on a plane for Thailand and a Buddist temple.
The monks are real they are not locked in consume cycles and they do not own Nextpresso coffee machines I have always found Thai people to be gentle.
Chris Hepburn Professional Recluse.
In many ways I feel like Novali,s Heinrich Von Offindingen however it was kindness I sought not a rose and all I found was perversity.
I will never know love I talk of that vile insipid woman from Idaho if their was 3 people left on the planet that woman Bob Dole and myself.
" You look great Bob lets get a room and a Beverly Sisters CD"
She could have helped me so easy the more I tried to reach Her with words the crueler She became with sick games I would not want to know her if She was the last woman on the planet.
I want the woman who,s soul would not allow Her to sleep knowing I was in pain begging on the streets of Paris such a woman does not exist.
My life is hell I have 2 degree,s I am a writer and stage actor I speak 4 languages and yet I do nothing I beg on the streets and long for death between Clinton and Bruckheimer they have made sure every door on the planet is closed to me.
As for France Proust needed 13 volumes for Rememberance Of Things Past I would need 14 volumes to explain my hatred of France.
I spent 2 years begging on the streets in Paris everybody in film and stage in France knows who I am and of the charity I tried to set up in my late daughters name and for 2 years I waited for one of them to feel a sense of guilt and to come to my aid they never did.
The closest was somebody from Pathe gave me a restraunt ticket and a French Actress that seemed to have taken lessons from Bill Shatner in overacting gave me 20 euro.
All the years of hell and suffering that vile evil abomanation Elizabeth Gracen has caused me and it has never ever tried to make things right with me it can never make things right with me unless it could arrange never ever to have been born but it never even tried.
ELIZABETH GRACEN IS PURE EVIL.
I take oath upon my late daughters soul if I had the choice between Bill Gates money or Elizabeth Gracen in jail it would be without a doubt Elizabeth Gracen in jail for if I knew that woman was suffering in jail I would have the first good nights sleep I have had since Nov 8 th 2002.
Every night I say a prayer to a god I do not believe in firstly that my daughter is ok in a heaven that I do not believe in and secondly that Gracen gets a slow and painful cancer and finally that I die in my sleep so that the pain stops.
It was not money or fame I wanted in my life but a good and decent version of the woman from Idaho I know that is a stupid thing to say as such a person does not exist.
I will close this preface by saying all I want in this world is for that evil vile perverse abomanation Elizabeth Gracen to rot in jail.
I still think back to those first few nights in jail in BC that was Gracens doing but at the time I could not even start to conceptulize that Gracen had betrayed me I thought it had an accident driving to fast to get to me in jail I thought it was in the ICU and needed me but the truth is more sinister as I paced my jail cell in tears thinking Gracen was in pain and needed me Gracen was spending my money.
I am wasting keystrokes saying this but if anybody in this perverse world has the moral backbone to stand up to Clinton and Bruckheimer help me get to Thailand.
I have a bank acct in my adoptive name
JONATHAN BLAIR
LLOYDS TSB BANK
UNITED KINGDOM
SORT CODE (ROUTING) 77 26 04
ACCT NUMBER 4508 7168
If anybody helps I will put up an Iridium or Immersat number here and I would be honored to meet you in Northern Thailand a place so remote diffcult to find without GPS it offers peace and quiet away from a sick and perverse world.
I am wasting my time saying this for all I can find is cruelty and perversity.
All I want in this world is for Gracen to rot in jail I cannot help but think of somebody created by a British childrens writer Enid Blyton.
She created Mrs Do As You Are Done By in essence She was a precursor to restorative justice Gracen rotting in jail would restore my sense of self.
I am not one to normally quote saints but St Augistine would understand as would Wendall Holmes or Lord Birkett.
My story starts in 97 please read on.
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It was 1997 and I was sitting in the back of a cab charging down the Van Wyck in the back of a cab to JFK moving to Paris to work on a novel.
Paris was amazing it is a city I know very well but this was my first time living in Paris.
Everything was perfect I was writing so much it was all very good the best I have ever written a great gothic novel about a vampire with a heart that lived on the blood of dead animals and interacted with historical figures.
Only one thing missing from Paris and that was this woman from Idaho I would think of Her always and dream of Her and I in Paris.
The first time I ever saw her at an award function I wanted to marry her and live hapilly ever after she is stunning on the outside but I thought she was stunning on the inside I was wrong She is ugly and dark on the inside.
Paris was amazing at times it felt as if I was just holding the pen and Paris was writing the novel it felt as if the ancients were guiding me Emile and Gustav were always there with me and Alexandre was always the foil with a witty quip to any problem.
Paris was mine I was so alive.
Years later I was to beg upon the streets of Paris but I would never have believed such a thing in 97 everything in Paris was perfect everywhere I went I went from the bars in the top hotels to sleezy CBGB,S like bars I was made to feel welcome.
I made a lot of friends and found a lot of lovers but I was a walking clitche in Paris I wanted love not sex.
Over the years I have had reltionship issues I would never commit to anybody a lot of it goes back to my adoptive parents an abusive drunk and a valium addict they lived in a state of mutual loathing.
My heart always wanted love but at the same time I was terrified of happy ever after no that is wrong I believed that it started with love and progressed to mutual loathing.
I think the greatest words that can relate to love were from Camus to do a slight re write.
Do Not Walk Behind Me For I May Not Lead.
Do Not Walk In Front Of Me For I May Not Follow.
Walk Beside Me And We Will Lead.
I so wanted to say that to this woman from Idaho at one time.
My mistake one day I thought today getting over my reltionship hang up it was a terrible mistake that would cost me 4 years of my life it would also cost my daughter Her life and my friends 3.2 Mil over 4 years and that is why I do not have a single friend on the planet today.
I was about to make the 2nd greatest mistake of my life the worst mistake of my life the worst mistake being Elizabeth Gracen the 2 nd greatest mistake was called Audrey Poetker Mennonite hobby writer and golddigger.
I would wander all over Paris rollerblading around Paris with my Discman and a THC level higher than Dr Timmy,s and I would scribble notes on anything then I would go home and turn my notes into a book.
I used to watch people when I write I needed to draw stimulus from them but in my apartment on the Rue Au Maire I had no window so I found myself in this chat room for writers and I was to find an Audrey that was an Audrey but Shakespear,s Audrey was just a fool a goat herd but the Audrey I was to find was a nasty piece of work that was sexually abused by Her father and all men on the planet had to pay for what Her father did to Her.
Audrey seemed to be this little voice that was yearning to breath free to invoke the words of Emma Lazarus if I knew then what I know now about Manitoba and a theoligical abomanation called Menonitism I would have said nothing to Her.
She came across as this little voice surrounded by ignorant redneck biggots that embrace a thelogical abomanation as an excuse for their bigotary.
Audrey told me tales of an abusive husband 30 years Her senior I later did a lot of checking into Her husband Jack Thiessen and He was the total gentleman He is a professor of German and at one time He had tenure at a university in Jena in what was East Germany before the wall came down and Jack risked His life to get people to West Germany.
Jack had a little of the ethos of Raul Wallenburg in His blood a good and decent man.
Audrey told me She married Jack as She felt sorry for Him at the time I thought how noble I will go shopping for a little old lady but I do not want to marry the little old dear.
The truth is much more sinister Audrey married Jack as He had a 5000 CDN pension a mouth that would allow Audrey Poetker to sit in front of a computer and smoke ciggys and indulge Herself as a hobby writer.
However at the time I knew none of that Audrey was this little voice that seemed to need rescuing now 12 years later I am the one that needs to be rescued.
However in Paris in 97 everything was amazing I was up to 40 pages it was the best I have ever written things were amazing I could not help but to feel so very very alive all that was missing or so I thought was this woman from Idaho I wanted Her and I to find a loft in The Marais at the time I felt She would just know how to write I felt She had an old soul again I was wrong.
At times I could not be bothered going very far I would go to the local bar where I was made to feel very welcome at times I was the only white face in the bar but North African,s have a strong sense of brotherhood and anybody drinking in their bar is a brother.
I could draw insperation from anything and anything I would most mornings go to this bar near republique for breakfast and I made friends with this charming old drunk that did a perfect Valery Giscard D,Estaing
Great way to start the day.
My happiness was not to last Audrey Poetker and I were swapping a lot of emails She told me She was barren this was part of Poetkers speil to draw me in but at the time I did not know that I believed Her.
Poetker told me She wanted to adopt it is diffcult in Canada well not diffcult but very complex with paperwork I knew some people in the Balkans that could speed things up these people were nothing sinister they just wanted to place children with loving people and could circumvent redtape.
Audrey told me She was comming to Paris to see me to talk of adoption I said sure yes look foward to seeing you I did not think any more of it this woman was a farm girl from the middle of knowhere not the kind of person that jumps on and off planes.
A few days later I got an email saying She had the ticket and would be in Paris next week.
The day She arrived I could not get away to meet Her at CDG I was working on a commercial and it was a lot of money for a few days work.
For the next few days we screwed like bunnies if it had stayed that was everything would have been ok.
I still remember that Audrey and I were being chased along the banks of the scein by a begger going on telling us her life story in Serb Croat a language I know only about 10 words in I was later to become that begger but I knew nothing of that then.
At the time I thought I was in love but hindsight is a wonderful thing I now know I was in love with being in love and I no longer believe in love it was made up by French poets during syphalitic rages.
Audrey was a subistuite as I could not have the woman from Idaho.
Audrey left after a week and the plan was She would return within a couple of weeks but their was always a problem with Her return.
Alarm bells should have been ringing.
Danger Will Robinson.
I was celibate for 6 months Audrey told me She was sharing a house with Her husband but not a bed I was the fool that believed that drivel.
Audrey Poetker was still sharing a bed with Her husband to extract as much money as possible from Him.
The Paris I loved was no longer there all I could see was darkness I could no longer write for 6 months I lived in a pit of darkness that Audrey Poetker had cast me into.
I think back to New Years eve 97 I had been invited to many places but I wanted to go knowhere without Audrey I spent New Years Eve alone with a couple of bottles of Petrus my fave wine a wine that should never ever be drunk alone.
An old fuck buddy turned up on my door She was quite enchanting half naked only 20 I was 32 at this stage She was clutching a sex toy with an impish grin on Her face saying it does not work and could I fix it I needed a sexual release but I did not sleep with Her as that would have been cheeting on Audrey.
At this time Audrey was in bed with Jack trying to get as much money out of him as possible.
Audrey and I met up in Balroy a cottage that we found for rent such a charming village in Normandy.
If I had met the right woman in Balroy I would still be there now with little people running around but I was not to meet the right woman I met up with a nasty piece of work.
We spent 2 months there and then moved to this enchanting village called St Nicholas La Chapelle in the Alps about 10 k from Megeve.
Poetker was getting stranger and stranger and demanding money and would spend hours on the phone talking with Her mother in Plauterdeutsch a low German language that I understood a lot of as I speak Dutch.
I would often go up to Paris for a couple of days to pick up my mail and would meet friends that were staying in the top hotels in Paris.
I would invite Poetker but She never ever came at the time I thought it was because such hotels would have intimadated Her as She was a farm girl from Manitoba.
However again the truth is much more sinister Poetker would never come to Paris with me as She was concerned that somebody may see throught Her golddigger speil.
Poetker and I were working on a science project 23 plus 23 equals life We were trying to make a little person.
Poetker became pregnant with my Daughter Anastasia Paris.
I went up to Paris the following weekend to see friends and gave my AMEX card a work out buying clothes and toys for Anastasia I had a friends mother this little old Tunisian lady telling me I was crazy in 3 languages buying things for a child that had not been born yet.
In my mind it was only a matter of time before my daughter Anastasia Paris came into this world to see my daughter come into this world those images would live in my soul forever in 15 perf.
It was not to be my partner Audrey Poetker is guilty of infanticide when I could not crap $100 bills Poetker would refuse to eat one does not need to be Patrick Steptoe to know that if the mother does not eat neither does the child as no nourisment crosses the placenta.
But I believed Anastasia would be strong I used to talk to her with my mouth to Poetkers tummy and tell her of the things that were waiting for Her
All I wanted in this world was children but not from flings I did not want to be a part time father I only wanted to father children with the woman that I would grow old with.
Shows how messed up I was for even as I was talking to my daughter throught Poetkers tummy a part of my heart wished I was talking to a child growing in the womb of that woman from Idaho and that is wrong for She turned out to be a cruel and vile woman.
All this time all Audrey Poetker wanted was money I was not intrested in such things all I was intrested in was my daughter comming into this world but Poetker was getting stranger and stranger demanding money.
I sold my apartment in NYC after paying off the loan I had just over 400k USD and I SWIFTED that to an acct that Poetker had as She wanted to buy a cottage in Manitoba for us.
I was in Paris as that is where my acct was and I spent the night in The Cafe Flore a place I used to trawl to find fuck buddies in but I was no longer intrested in such things I was drinking there with a buddy and having fun later that night I tried to call Poetker to say goodnight but She was not picking up I thought nothing off it at times when I write I disconnect from the world do not answer phones I thought Poetker was doing the same.
I tried again in the morning still no reply I caught the train back to Albertville walking into the chalet everything had gone even a fax machine that I had hard wired into the socket as it had an American RJ11 conector on it that would not fit into French phone sockets.
I called the cops and told them that somebody has kidnapped the woman I love with my daughter in Her womb the cops looked around and asked me a few questions and if either of us was rich looking back the look on their faces said everything but they did not want to say such a thing but looking back the look on their faces said a golddigger has done Her work.
I spoke with a cop I knew in Paris and She did a little database mining for me and found out from flight manifests that Poetker had flown out of Lyon to Toronto.
Much of the next 6 weeks I was drunk and would scream at Mont Blanc and play Edith Piaf CD,s
I found credit card hits for Poetker in Manitoba but I could not accept She was a golddigger I thought some how Her ex husband or Her parents had done something to turn Her against me.
Most of the next 4 years were a blur a drunken or stoned blur that cost my friends 3.2 mil USD and that is the reason I do not have a single friend on the planet today.
I spent 4 years lost and confused stuck in a Homeresque like quest to find my daughter their was no daughter but I was not to know that for 4 years my little girl had been murdered by Audrey Poetker She starved Her to death in her womb it was nothing short of murder and in certain jurisdictions they have enacted laws to protect the rights of the fetus once it is viable.
I could not handle being in the chalet by myself so I moved back to Paris and rented an apartment on The Rue Ferdinand Duval in the Marais I have always liked the 4 eme not that many tourists as they are busy walking around Notre Dame and the 5 eme buying flashing eifel towers and eating Macdonalds.
The wine supply was only a couple of mins away as their is a Monoprix on The Rue Du Rivoli I lived on wine and cried my soul out for a few months everybody I talked to from those I met in a bar to The Tunisian Ambassador told me Poetker was a goldigger but I could not accept that.
I would make excuses for Poetker Her parents did not like me I was an outsider and outsiders are the work of Satan to uneducared puritan Mennonite minds.
I had myself convinced Her parents or Her ex husband had done something and had Her hid away somewhere.
If Mennonite society was not so sad, perverse and insipid they would be perfect for Monty Python like satire.
Mennonite,s embrace ignorance as an art form I once spoke with a Murray Barkman what a truly awful man He runs a Mennonite charity in Winnipeg and I asked Him to get a headstone for My daughter.
His responce We do not do that what an awful vile man that has the audacity to call Himself a Christian I have only ever met one Christian in my life an Italian nun called Francesca She was stunning and could have graced the cover of Italian Vogue.
She risked Her life to save the life of children in the Balkan,s She had a sense of humor I would tell Her If I do not fuck you I will explode She would laught and say I am married to Jesus.
She was real I do not care if She believes in Jesus or that Elvis lives next door She risked Her life for Her beliefs.
I have met 1000,s of morons that call themselves Christian,s just fools I would go as far as to say The Pope is not a Christian as what does He do He waves at people The Pope could be replaced with animatronics.
Paris was so dark I could find no light in the city of light and one day I went to CDG and caught a flight to Mexico City.
The next 4 years over 30 countrys a walking disaster area drunk or stoned crying for my little girl.
Drove a 500 SL of the road at 130 but the fall guy lived alas my little girl did not live.
It was to take 4 years until I was to find out I had no daughter one Xmas I was drunk in The Algonquin great old hotel that Dorothy Parker adored.
Running around FAO SCHWARTZ and spent 20k on gifts for a daughter I did not have.
The next 4 years were a blur I was working on lower brain function 4 years later I was sitting on a beach in Nice and my cell started to ring it was a 204 area code that being the area code of that vile red neck province Manitoba and it was a Harvey Poetker Audreys cousin a man I have never ever met but I would like to buy Him 424 drinks.
He told me their was no child and that Audrey had a miscarage but that was the wrong word Audrey Poetker had murdered my daughter She had starved my daughter to death in Her womb.
I spent 3 or 4 weeks in The Hotel De Paris in Monaco living on wine and weeping Anastasia Paris the little girl that never was.
I found myself on a plane to Los Angeles not quite sure why I lived in LA for 3 years and I hate the place so shallow and a quote from Mark Twain is still valid today.
" In NYC they ask what you know in LA they ask you how much you have"
Their is a flea pit hotel in Santa Monica called The Pacific Sands just across from the pier but a safe place The Korean guy that owns the place keeps the junkies and hookers out.
Only a couple of mins walk to 3 rd street prom and a few mins to the bar at Shutters Santa Monica,s best hotel I know Santa Monica and Venice very well walking around saying Hi to people I had not seen for years.
I was there a few nights and then called an old girlfriend and She got me a room at The Bev Wil being Her fave hotel in LA and my 3 rd fave hotel in LA this woman was wonderful She was the one I should have commited to years earlier.
She had millions but the soul of an old hippy I was young and stupid when we dated if I had met Her 5 years later I expect I would have had the emotional maturity to make the reltionship work.
However even then Her and I are walking into a restraunt as that awful woman from Idaho is walking out and I wanted Her so bad my toe nails were hurting.
Such fealings are strange and bizarre for the woman from Idaho is vile perverse and self absorbed but the woman I was dinning with was sweet gentle and kind and She looked great.
LA was not me I drove up The PCH up to Vancouver BC not WA great fun I15 is boring but The Pacific Coast Highway is fun even then I could not stop thinking about that awful woman from Idaho thinking of doing The PCH with Her on a couple of Harleys.
I was about to make a mistake that would cost me close to 3 years of my life my old girlfriend that I met up with as a friend in LA said to me Chris go to NYC You can stay in my apartment as long as you want if only I had taken those keys.
I got into Vancouver however even Kafka could not have conceptulized the hell I was to endure due to corrupt Canadian scum to this day when people talk of The Ottawa Process for conflict reselution I do not know if I should laught,vomit or cry for in all my travels I have never come across such corruption and perversity as I found in Canada.
C.S.I.S Canada,s Mickey Mouse INTEL Agency they could not find the bathroom with maps and GPS they spend their life huddled around a fax machine waiting for faxes from The Agency telling them what is going on in this world I will talk more of C.S.I.S later but they are scum that is the only word for them.
I rented an apartment in Vancouver at one time I liked Canada being a cross between The US and The UK and I used to have fun in Quebec The deluded province they think they are French nobody ever told them Jacques Cartier got His ass kicked and they speak a language a little like French.
The sepratist movement from the marches to FLQ has a monty python feal to it but I liked Canada once now I despise the nation with a vengence to this day they have not said sorry to me for their corruption and perversity.
I rented an apartment in Vancouver and life started to feel good once more I could see the majesty in the actions of Mother Earth once more.
My happiness was not to last due to that vile perverse scum Elizabeth Gracen I was to spent 16 months in a Canadian jail due to that perverse vile evil toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen and then 11 months in an Australian jail.
Australian,s are the most vulgar people on the planet most Australians still embrace convict mentality and as a nation Australia is racist and sexist.
What Australia has done to The Aboriginal People is nothing short of genocide I can only think of 3 things worth doing in Australia getting stoned with Skippy punching Johnhy Howard and having sex with Danni Minogue.
Australian,s embrace vulgarity as an art form even Australia,s only intellectual cannot get away from genetic convict mentality I was threatned by Germaine Greer a few months back as She did not like something I said about Her.
However She considers Herself to be much to inportant to threaten me Herself and has agent do it.
I susspose I am lucky that She did not break a beer bottle over my head as that is the way Australian,s normally express their upset.
However in the summer of 02 in Vancouver I started to live again I could see the majesty of Mother Earth.
Today is Monday 22nd June and the world is a sick and perverse place a thought that just popped into my head I refer To King Drivel Of Redmond AKA Bill Gates on the MSN homepage a story of a protester shot on the streets of Tehran and then the pic goes and another one appers.
BUY SHIT YOU DO NOT NEED CONSUME YOU MINDLESS FUCKS.
This is the man that is running the Bill And Melinda foundation to help kids in the 3 rd world and at the same time dumbing down the world with the drivel on MSN,S home page.
22nd of june long for death will never know joy or happiness all that stops me ending my life is a dream of seing Gracen go to jail.
I want to get on a 747 next stop Bangkok last night a dream of that woman from Idaho and I flying to Bangkok and getting creative with baby oil in the avonics bay that is huge in a 747.
Bizarre I would dream on that woman as She would not understand where I want to go in Thailand.
As it does not have a concierge that says would you like to kick me in the head now Sir/Madam?.
I think of how bizarre life is I read that Farrah Fawcett is in hospital as a schoolboy their were about 10 or 12 of Us that had posters of Her in the boiler room at the school and We would huddle around those posters and tell each other what We would do with Farrah if She walked throught the door and punch out anybody that said anything bad about Farrah.
We were kids We would have been terrified if She had walked throught the door but the point I make is Farrah does not have the blood of children in the 3 rd world on Her hands as Gracen does.
I would like to give Farrah,s cancer to that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen also kudos to Ryan O`neal He is with Her in Her hour of need not fucking bimbo,s in The Marmont.
In my hour of need that vile evil scum Elizabeth Gracen was not there the evil woman was spending my money.
Life their is no point being alive almost the middle of 09 all the years that evil scum Elizabeth Gracen has stole from me no sense of guilt or shame.
To know that woman suffers in jail is all I want in this world.
Today I was burning trash and I found a couple of Teddy Bears in the trash.
I remembered The 1861 Offences Against Teddy Bears Act and rescued them as I was pulling them from the trash my brain thought I want to Fed Ex them to that woman from Idaho fucking bizarre firstly I do not want to Fed Ex them to who She really is I want to Fed Ex them to a kind version of Her.
Secondly That vile woman would get nothing out of it She would not understand the gift of a battered and bruised Teddy Bear unless it had The Hope Diamond around Its neck.
June 23 rd do not want to be alive I cannot even go to Thailand and try and heal I am close to an airport and on the flight path a small 2w hand held would reach the pilot I am so close.
WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM ON 121.5 MHZ GET ME TO FUCKING THAILAND.
121.5mhz is the international distress freq.
I see Barrack "Uncle Tom " Obamma is angry with Iran on a personal level I have more respect for Iran than I do for The US as Iran has never shit on me or wronged me.
The US has fucked with me for years and I cannot get home to NYC thanks Uncle Tom.
I think of that fucking awful woman from Idaho She could have helped me so easy must have over 100 mil sitting in the bank the worst part is She knows I would have been there for Her She knows I would not have allowed Her to spend a single night crying Herself asleep on the streets of Paris.
2002 Vancouver I was taking emotional baby steps and slowely started to live again however my new found happiness was not to last due to that vile perverse abomanation Elizabeth Gracen.
Again it is bizarre as Gracen was a subsituite as I could not have the woman from Idaho.
I have not wanted that vile cruel woman from Idaho since xmas day 2005 I had hoped She may have felt some guilt for playing sick games with my head asnd help me but She never will for all Her wealth She has no sense of decency or class in Her heart and soul She is still trailer trash.
I say it again all I want in this world is for that evil scum Elizabeth Gracen to suffer and suffer in jail.
Vancouver 2002 I stoped drinking or rather I stoped drinking to make the world go away.
I started trying to pull a charity together in my late daughters name.
THE ANASTASIA PARIS FOUNDATION.
I wanted Her name to live on in actions.
Many years earlier quite a few of us were in this hotel called The Del Mar in San Diego and we were talking about Ken Kesey and The Merry Pranksters.
I knew Kesey personally and He gave me his blessing to try and set up The Merry Pranksters The Next Genaration.
Kesey was no cult leader He wanted people to think but He never ever told people what to think.
Kesey was a gentleman in the true sense of the word there I was in Vancouver trying to pull together The Merry Pranksters The Next Genaration as a funding org for The Anastasia Paris Foundation.
However I wanted nothing to do with money and tried to bring this Judge from DC on board this woman has a wonderful legal mind and Her findings are Dickensian in depth however morality and ethics are not Her thing but I did not know that at the time.
I tried to pull a movie together about people comming together for the common good I know fucking deluded as 99 percent of the human race are self absorbed dross.
My movie 75 percent of BO would have gone to feeding kids in the 3 rd world and anybody could have been in it from Mustardseed Cruise to the girl at the supermarket however the girl in the supermarket can play the girl in the supermarket as that is what She is.
The girl in the supermarket cannot play Nora or Gertruide and I will talk more of this later but for years I have been haselled by vile dross that want to be actors.
I was spending a lot of time on the phone to people in LA trying to find funding but the motion picture industry in LA is not about doing good and it is not about art.
The film industry in LA is about one thing momey and film is just a comodity but people started turning up in Vancouver some talent that could act but a lot of dross.
Cattle Call from hell but I played along as I thought somebody in LA was reading the same page but it turned out not to be.
The charity I tried to set up in my late daughters name would have been bigger than Elvis if people had worked together in an ego free zone.
I was going to try and raise funds on so many levels firstly UNWEAR would have been a global lifestyle label and 75 percent of profits would have fed kids in the 3 rd world.
I tried to bring Her Royal Highness Princess Moron Of Monaco (Stephanie Grimaldi) on board as the spokesperson I have known Stephanie for over 20 years.
Her name would have sold UNWEAR in the states kids would have said.
" But Mom The Princess Said"
However Stephanie is to busy putting coke up Her nose and fucking lion tamers to care about anything but Herself.
Children from Portland Maine to Portland Oregon would have wanted to buy the product that was endorsed by the Princess.
Also UN WEAR would have had a feel good quality about it our staff would been part of something good and decent and we would not have paid them 17 cents an hour like Nike does in Thailand.
25 th June 2009 and life is hell the only thing I want in this world is for Gracen to rot in jail I doubt anybody will believe this butI take oath upon my late daughters soul if I had the choice between Bill Gates money or that vile evil toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen in jail I would have Gracen rot in jail.
Bill Gates money cannot fix what Gracen destroyed within me.
Thinking of that fucking vile woman from Idaho for 2 years as I begged on the streets of Paris I thought that one day She would feel guilt for messing with my head and help me.
I was terrified and hoped She would have somebody drop some money in my lap or send it via S.W.I.F.T I say that as if She had have turned up and passed me money and said want to get a coffee I would have burst into tears and said I cannot get a coffee with you as you were not there when I needed you.
So sad the first time I ever set eyes upon Her at a award function wanted to run away with Her and live in a Monet painting until We are old and grey in the end terrified that She would arrive and say want to get a coffee as I could not share coffee with Her but at one time wanted Her soul forever.
Back to Vancouver the charity I tried to set up in my daughters name could have worked on so many levels even a soft drink PEACE COLA a can of soda that would have fed kids in the 3 rd world.
Also a Haute Courture label the fashion industry is so boring and dull at the moment for the most part We could have gone up against the major French and Italian houses and won and I would have had a grin watching Gaultiers profits drop and that vile sack of shit Jean Paul Gaultier knows why.
My dresses would have started at 100k and the design,s would have been so easy to recognize as a Hepburn in essence the person wearing the dress is saying I have given kids in the 3 rd world 100k.
It would have carried more prestige that talking drivel on a bejeweled Vertu phone.
Also the art world in NYC is so shallow and prices kept high by morons with.
OH DARLING IT IS WONDERFUL.
Exploit that to feed hungry kids look at 2 that are invogue at the moment Damien Hirst and a Tracy Somebody they are not artists they are publicists that read a book about Warhol and thought great way to make a buck.
What they produce is shit.
Let us susspose that somebody like Angelina"Where Hast Thou Been Sister" Jollie was to put paint on their breasts and walk into a canvas and then used some $3 words to "TALK" of Her "GREAT" work of art how many children would that have fed in the 3 rd world.
Conceptual art is shit but if it feeds hungry kids.
SHIT IS GOOD.
MERDE EST BON.
SCHISE IST GUT.
27 th June about 20pages to go doubt most people will believe this unless you have suffered the way I have suffered due to the actions of a person you thought you were going to grow old with.
I say this with the upmost sincerity and take oath upon my late daughters soul if a judge said to me Chris I will send Gracen to jail for 20 years then We will take you behind the court and you will be shot.
LETS GO JUDGE.
Thinking of that sack of shit from Idaho a few days ago I once thought Cohen wrote a song about Her "SUZANNE" but if the truth be known it was Denis Leary that wrote a song about Her "I am an asshole" just makes me so sad as this was somebody I once admired a great deal but in truth a vile terrible morally bankrupt sack of shit.
WANT TO FUCKING WEEP AND NEVER STOP.
I did get a little job but been fired from that and unless I can come up with anything by next weekend I will be back under a bridge no point being alive to sit under a bridge and wait for old age and death.
As I await old age and death that evil scum Elizabeth Gracen spends my money.
I check my bank balance once in a while hoping that sack of shit from Idaho may feel some guilt for messing with my head for years.
She will never feel guilt as She lacks the emotional depth.
Elton John has more chance of fucking The Pope than this woman having the emotional acuity to feel guilt.
I have an acct with Hotmail I hardly ever use MICROSOFT YUCK.
However I see that muppet Gates is also a drug dealer this is the man that runs a so called charity to help kids in the 3 rd world.
Gates is running an ad for Cymbalta (DULOXETINE HYDROCHLORIDE) or to dumb it down for readers of The New York Post or The British Sun.
GATES IS USING MSN,S PAGE TO SELL POSION.
Cymbalta is a Selective Serotonin And Norepinephrire Reuptake Inhibitor for Generalized anxiety disorder.
That is D.S.M speak for a bad hair day.
It is posion that Gates is selling for a bad hair day one needs a puppy not fucking posion.
Somebody could call up Gates and ask Him about Hepatotoxicity and elevated ALT and AST levels but the muppet would not have a clue what you are talking about.
I am sitting in the office of the lady I work for until the weekend sending re writing this site and I can hear planes as I am close to an airport just want to get on a plane to Bangkok and invite an old friend I have not seen in 17 years but I cannot as Gracen has my money.
Vancouver 2002 I was about to made the biggest mistake of my life I contacted that vile toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen I had not seen it since late 2000 when it spiked my drink with drugs.
I have searched my soul to try and figure out what was the matter with me why I contacted Gracen after what it did to me in Amsterdam after it spiked my drink I opened my wrists after having a breakdown.
I have no idea why I contacted that perverse evil vile toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen.
Well emails started comming back from the toxic abomanation but I should have known the emails were not from Gracen unless it had a Lawnmover Man moment.
The emails were from a lady with a classical education in essence a renaisance woman Gracen is a hick from Arkansas that qualified as a CPA from a community collage.
The emails I got were from somebody with a brain quoting classical lit and thoughts on doing Nora to my Torvald.
The only Dolls House Gracen would know is the one that children have.
I do not know why I did not see throught it I susspose I wanted Gracen to be an emotional and intellectual equal and I wanted Gracen to be able to keep up with me on a classical stage.
To this day I do not know who was sending those emails.
All these years later that toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen has never even tried to make things right with me.
What makes me want to weep is I contacted that vile woman from Idaho when I was in Vancouver a few weeks before I made contact with that evil abomanation Elizabeth Gracen the woman from Idaho does not know Gracen but She could have found out and warned me.
She is one of only a handful of people I would have listened to in 2002 but She could not be bothered showing me an act of kindness and warning me as She is a member of The Church Of The Unholy Trinity Me Myself And I .
Vancouver 2002 I was reborn I was alive once more the darnkess that engulfed my soul from 98 to 02 left me but my new found happiness was not to last.
That evil vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen raped my soul.
I could smile once more and they were real smiles not actors smiles.
Monday 29 th June trying to finish this re write by Thur as I will be back under a bridge on the streets again due to that evil vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen.
The vile evil bitch could keep every last penny if I could just be the man I once was.
I do not know why I am bothering re writing this as I only have 3 nights left in a real bed then back on the streets and begging as that evil vile perverse abomanation Elizabeth Gracen spends my money.
Last night I had a dream about that woman from Idaho in my dream She was kind and decent but in reality cold and cruel.
I used to cry Myself asleep on the streets of Paris and tell myself She will arrive soon and wake me up and say Chris stop talking like that I am married but this is my sholder cry your heart out.
30TH June 2009 2 days until I am back on the streets I am trying everything but nothing will work walkiing around all day making sure my phone is on thinking somebody may call and say you have suffered and suffered I have sent you some money go somewhere and try and heal.
Shows how screwed up my head is I am sure that sack of shit from Idaho knows I will be back on the streets in 2 days today thinking to myself if She called would I talk to her or scream insults and hang up a waste of the little brain power I have left that fucking awful self absorbed sack of shit cares for only 3 things Me,Myself and I .
I so believed She was a good and decent person once and everything I have ever done in my life was a subsituite as I could not have Her however I do not want Her I want a kind version of Her and that is such a stupid thing to think as it is like saying I wish a cat was a dog.
I am so so tired I just want to get on a plane to Thailand and a Buddist Temple peace and quiet and decent people that do not need to buy Nextpresso Coffee Machines as Cobweb Clooney has told them to.
However I cannot get to Thailand as that evil vile perverse toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen has my money in 48 hours I will be back under a bridge homeless begging on the streets again.
Vancouver 2002 the cattle call from hell but as I said I played along as I thought somebody in LA was reading from the same page.
A lot of talentless wanna be dross reality TV has a lot to answer for good acting is intuitive forget these Mickey Mouse acting schools in it to make a buck.
Forget Adler,Forget Meisner,and most certainly forget that vile midget Strasburg good acting is a gift a lot of dross in Vancouver but some talent also.
I made friends with a Canadian Actor that was a charming drunk that would trawl the bars of Vancouver and His opening volley was.
" You Know I was In Mcguyver Can You Buy Me A Drink"
We had fun trying to out quote each other with Shakespeare He turned out to be a sack of shit but at the time I did not know that.
I thought I saw that evil vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen on Pender a street in Vancouver but I did nothing wanted to see what kind of enterance it would make.
Their was a man that worked with Gracen called Jim Byrnes turned up in My bar this man is a vile perverse human being He has no legs and should know about pain and suffering one would have thought that somebody that knows about pain would not want to inflict it on anybody else.
I asked Byrnes if He had seen anything of Liz seems He wanted to do improv 101 He said no.
That reply was wrong the correct reply should have been Liz who given that it is such a common name and He had not worked with it for years.
I doubt I would have listened to Byrnes but He could have tried to warn me about that evil toxic bitch Elizabeth Gracen.
With less than 24 hours to go before I am back on the streets I think about life and all the years that vile perverse toxic abomanation Elizabeth Gracen has stolen from me they are gone forever I can never get them back.
All I want in this world is to know Gracen suffers in jail I look at how absurd so called justice is Wesley Snipes is an asshole taking instructions from Bruckheimer but the man has never ever hurt anybody children have not died due to Snipes.
He did not pay taxes Uncle Sam would not have done anything "NICE" with His money just bought more bombs and missiles what is the point in Snipes going to jail for 3 years the man is no danger to anybody.
Why not have Him teach the kids in Compton would be hanging on His every word and if His word to the gangs was stop killing each other maybe they would.
He does not belong in jail that vile toxic evil abomanation Elizabeth Gracen does.
Another one is Ronnie Biggs let the poor man go let Him die in peace with His family old South London Villiany had a code of ethics they did not mug little old ladies or sell drugs to kids His attorney could have a degree in law from the states as He calls Biggs punishment Cruel And Unusual Quoting The 8 th Amendment and Biggs attorney is right.
He is an old man that cannot talk due to amphasure from a stroke let Him go home to die with kith and kin He does not belong in jail that vile evil perverse abomanation Elizabeth Gracen belongs in jail.
This time tomorrow night I will be homeless and that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen will be spending my money.
Last night hardly slept in tears knowing I will be back on the streets tomorrow night due to that vile perverse evil abomanation Elizabeth Gracen.
At one time I used to wonder what it had planed for me for my 40 th birithday it had a jail cell planned for me in that hick nation Australia but I will get to that later.
I had a dream a few nights ago it was Xmas Day 2005 and that vile cruel woman from Idaho turned up on Xmas day saying this is my sholder it is yours to cry your soul out and I sang an Andre Hazes song to Her out of key
"Ik Ben Zo Einzaam Zonder Jouw"
just a stupid dream as this woman is cruel and perverse and I doubt The Brown Cafe,s would do anything for Her as for Andre Hazes one needs to understand Amsterdam an old Amsterdam before they turned the post office into a mall to understand Andre Hazes from a time when Amsterdam was still "Gezellig"
I wanted Her to be kind and decent I know this is a stupid thing to say it is like saying I wish a dog was a cat but if She was kind and decent I could have healed.
Gets to me I once thought She was a good and decent person thought She would be a real life personal Portia but I was wrong.
Back top Vancouver another sack of shit that Gracen worked with was lurking outside my apartment a man called Adrian Paul this man is scum and has set up a fake charity with some of the ideas I gave Gracen.
I was drinking Coffee one day and My Blackberry had a mail from that evil vile perverse abomanation Gracen telling me to meet Her in The Empress an enchanting old Canadian Pacific railway hotel in Victoria.
Think Hotel Vancouver in Vancouver,The Royal York in Toronto or The Queen Elizabeth in Montreal or The Fontanac in Quebec City wonderful old hotels I took The Chopper over The Georgia Strights I have a thing for choppers.
Ordered a bottle of Dom and waiting and waiting but the vile abomanation did not arrive another sick game.
Elizabeth Gracen is the personafacation of evil.
A few days after that I was arrested due to that evil woman Elizabeth Gracen I used to drink in this bar that had quite an intresting ecclectic clientel.
Their was this lady I was fucking it was just sex but I liked Her She had a plain looking friend and Her friend told me this man hit Her and pointed him out to me I followed Him to the rest rooms I did not hit him I am a man of peace I took His feet away.
It turned out that this plain looking woman goes around Vancouver telling guys that somebody hit Her to see who will step up to the plate for Her.
Well I became friends with the guy who,s feet I took away and His girlfriend She was cute in an open reltionship and She invited me over to fuck.
I had a Ford Explorer rental and stoped at 7 -11 to buy a cell recharge voucher and that was the begining of the end.
The Vancouver Police Dept ran me throught CPIC being Canada,s version of NCIC and they started acting strange good job they were not working undercover they would have blown it to many tells.
I had no idea what was going on they seemed to be going to a lot of trouble to get Imagration Canada to come out and see me they did and arrested me for overstaying.
Somebody was trying to make things diffcult thought in was Lloyd Axworthy who was a friend of Audrey Poetkers new boyfriend Delbert Plett Manitoba,s token Mennonite silk.
However that did not make sense of I do not read Axworthy as a man that abuses His office with Machevelian quests for friends.
I was not that worried worst they could do or so I thought was hold me overnight then drive me over the border to Blaine the first town on the US side of the border in WA greyhound into Seattle a town I know and like and lunch in Pike Market however that was not to be.
I say this again in all oif my life I have never ever come across such corruption and perversity like that I encountered in Canada.
What Canada did to me was perverse I have given Canada the chance to attone for their perversity and corruption but all I have is bullshit from 4 Canadian Ambassadors.
I tend to think P.E.T would be disgusted with what Canada did to me as He was a good and decent man I met him a couple of times a gentleman and that is more than can be said for the last 3 assholes that squatted 24 Sussex.
I went to the local jail had a little MJ they did not find had a smoke went to sleep thinking I will be on my way in the morning US bound.
I was taken to a jail some 40 miles from Vancouver and was held in isolation and refused access to the telephone or public defender.
They were playing the sen dep card I spent a couple of weeks in a cell in Serbia being screwed with by Serbian spooks and tied to a post and dry fired on I survived that so Canada should be a walk in the park.
The best way to survive behind enemy lines is to shut down do not engage the enemy and wait for help.
After a few a few days I started to get worried about things not so much about myself just a waiting game or so I thought until I am on the right side of the 49th.
I thought that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen had an accident or worse dead in My mind their was no way it could not have been there for me screaming an innocent man is in jail.
I could think of no explanation except that Gracen was in hospital or dead I thought it was driving to fast to get to me and had an accident.
The jail guards hand out Lorenzapam like candy and I was popping it so on edge thinking I could do nothing to help Gracen or worse that it had died.
Their was no way it could not be there for me except for an accident or death or so I thought.
The truth is much more sinister and perverse as I was in tears in my cell thinking Gracen was in hospital and needed me or worse dead Gracen was spending my money and I was in that cell due to that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen as Gracen had got into Clintons ear.
July 2 nd now and tonight I will be sleeping on the streets again as that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen spends my money.
I think of that awful woman from Idaho and hoping She would ring and say sorry Chris I have sent you some money stupid thing to think but it is the same as a drowning man hopes a boat will come along.
The worst part is She knows I would have been there for Her and all the money in the world could not have stoped me helping Her if She was in pain.
She knows all of that.
She knows I would not have failed Her I would not know how.
I am in the ugliest city in Europe back on the streets all I want in this world is to see that evil abomanation Elizabeth Gracen rot in jail.
Life is hell I just left the UK after more cruelty and perversity I had a job with this vile woman that screamed and shouted at me for 3 weeks as I not pick up horse shit fast enought for about $ 1.20 an hour.
Avoid Janet Martinez and Warwick International School Of Riding like the plague.
That awful woman put me throught 3 weeks of hell.
I found another vile man in England He is Jeremy Dear The Chairman of The National Union Of Journalists.
British trade unions have for the most part been ran by gentlemen(SIC) talking in working class north country accents, wearing ill fitting suits and having an unhealthy foundness for ferrets and/or pidgons.
That is better than Jeremy Dear The Chairman of The National Union Of Journalists.
The man is vile perverted corrupt scum.
Another perverse human being I came across was Patrick Stewert I emailed him hoping for a sense of guilt and shame do I get that no just more bullshit Patrick Stewert is a vile perverse human being.
What is sad is that He comes from Huddersfield.
That being a town in Yorkshire in The UK the county of Yorkshire is the hick capitol of The UK Stewert had to learn RP before He could even walk on a stage as a Yorkshire accent is awful.
If somebody in Huddesfield said they want to be a doctor or a lawyer they would be told not to be silly if one said they want to be an actor their parents would either call the doctor or a man of the cloth to perform an exocism.
Stewert treaded the boards for over 30 years before Rick Berman made Him a household name but what a fucking truly awful man Patrick Stewert is.I hoped for kindness and a sorry from Him but I did not get it.
I left the UK after those 3 weeks of hell with that awful woman Martinez and bullshit from Jeremy Dear and Patrick Stewert needed to get out.
I am so fucking ill I was in tears this morning as I did not die in my sleep I am so fucking ill.
I am in the fucking armpit of the world and all I want in this world is for that evil scum Elizabeth Gracen to rot in jail.
I want to get on a plane next stop BKK Thai Airways great airline all Thai FA,S are so nice and friendly a great advertisment for their nation.
Thai people are gentle.
I cannot get on a plane as that abomanation Elizabeth Gracen spends my money.
Thinking of that awful woman from Idaho She knows I could not have left Her on the streets for a second I could not have failed Her and She knows that.
I wish I could understand how this woman can be so cruel vile and perverse I could be in Thailand trying to get well if this woman could show me a simple act of kindness.
I am overwhelmed with cruelty and perversity on the coach last night this young lady dropped Her passport.
It being the latest passport and The Dept Of Engraving have a lot of intresting sec mesures to challange freelance passport consultants.
The thing I noticed was lofty quotes by statesmen just a shame nobody at State or that muppet Uncle Tom that is squatting 1600 understands those quotes for if they did I would have been home in NYC a long time ago.
July 4 th today independence day but not for me I am in an internet cafe in the armpit of the world only here as they have homeless shelters.
This city is so ugly and the women only have one dress style when they go out Essex Slut circa 1980 Empire Ballroom Leicester Square.
The only redeaming thing this ugly city has going for it is that it now has more ethnic diversity than it once had.
I have travelled the world and have never ever come across anywhere as ugly as Dublin the city has nothing going for it.
I get back here a part of me hoped for sorry the way a drowning man hopes a boat will come along but I get more bullshit.
I know of a homeless shelter the rooms are awful the size of a jail cell and they are in the basement so no windows but the staff are friendly that is the best I can have but better than a bridge in London Or Paris.
I do not want to be here but in a buddist temple in Thailand or back in NYC before State screwed with me for years.
18 months of my life were stolen from me by Ireland had hoped for sorry but what do I find more cruelty and perversity I was in tears this morning that I had not died in my sleep.
I long for death and a release from the pain.
I am not scared to end my life but every time I come close I hear Gracens laughter at the news of my death.
I could die with a smile on my face if I knew Gracen would suffer in jail for the next 20 years.
The last few weeks in the UK a living hell with that awful vulgar woman Janet Martinez of Warwick School Of Riding.
She screames and abuses all of Her staff even young kids that She is not paying and has convinced them She is doing them a favor.
These are young children and teenagers that want to learn about horses this woman screams at them as they are not picking up horse shit fast enought.
I have even heard Her scream at a 9 year old girl and take a rope and beat a horse badly at one time I could not have stood by and allowed anybody to abuse an animal but I did nothing for if I had have done I would have been fired.
If anybody wants to hire somebody that knows a lot about horses and has good people skills try Brett Harris this guy is virtully running the place at the weekend and He is paid nothing only 15 put comes across as a lot older He can be reached by email wildrider@live.co.uk
Life is hell I could treat nobody the way that vile woman Janet Martinez treated me 3 weeks of hell 4 days notice go to hell get out of my trailer and fuck off and go and live under a bridge.
A member of Her staff told me she owns rooms in Coventry and London but the vile woman choose not to rent me one.
I also have an email from Her telling me I can stay in the trailer as long as I want if things do not work out with the job.
This woman is fucking toxic I am so fucking sick of toxic people.
I just want to get to my Buddist temple and try and get well to heal from the years of hell that vile perverse evil woman Elizabeth Gracen has put me throught.
I cannot understand how that woman from Idaho can be so cruel and perverse what I asked Her for is like asking a regular person for a quarter.
If She had have been kind and decent I would be in a buddist temple now not the armpit of the world.
Back to Vancouver I was in such a mess in jail I was so sure Gracen had an accident I could not understand any other way that it could not be in the jail for me and screaming from the rooftops that an innocent man rots in jail and if that did not work a bead of C4H around my cell window would.
All the time I was making myself ill worrying about Gracen that vile evil woman Elizabeth Gracen was spending my money.
After a couple of weeks I was taken to Manitoba and I never ever knew Canada had places like Manitoba it is like The American South before Brown a vulgar and racist province and most Manitobans come across like extras from deliverance.
On the whole The Royal Canadian Mounted Police are not known for corruption and the force are not violent and are not boot boys on behalf of the govt a few nasties relating to native issues but on the whole ok that is what I thought before I had dealings with them.
The RCMP are perverse I had dealings with this dirty cop called Kurt Banse every morning He came into my cell and asked me for 50k to let me go He was sure I had funds I did not the only money I had in the world Kurt Banse already stole from me when I left BC I had 16k USD when I arrived in MB I had nothing nice guy Kurt Banse.
Kurt Banse was sure that I had money I had no money except the 16k that Kurt Banse stole from me.
One day this young prosecutor with a Dutch name said I want 50k also where the hell was I this is not the Canada I knew this is a 3 rd world country.
I truly despise Canada all these years later they have not felt the need to try and make things right with me even if Canada gave me money and the asshole in 24 said sorry they cannot give me back the years they stole from me.
Only thing I got was a woman from C.S.I.S Canada,s Mickey Mouse INTEL Agency told me Elizabeth Gracen was no good no shit.
CANADA IS PERVERSE.
After Kurt Banse relized that I had no money for Him He charged me with haressment that being Kafkaesque in itself I was being charged with harassing the woman the woman that took 550k USD from me and murdered my daughter.
I never ever haressed Audrey Poetker I sent angry faxes trying to find my daughter I sent them to people within the Mennonite comunity trying to find my daughter but I was an outsider and they said nothing.
Mennonitism is a theological abomanation thrust upon an uneducated people by an ex comunicated Dutch Priest.
I have read The Matrys Mirror being a major tome about Mennonite History Menonite,s are not godly people they are perverse or the ones I came across in Manitoba are.
I was given a public defender a Rod Brecht now I did not expect to find Attikus Finch or Joyce Davenport but I did not expect to find Rod Brecht what an awful man Brecht told me to plead guilty and that I would be fined and deported to North Dakota.
Rod Brecht of legal aid Manitoba told me that if I did not plead guilty I would be held in custody for up to a year waiting for a trail it seems the finer points of The Magna Carta had not made it into Canadian Common Law and the courts in Manitoba practise prevenative detention.
I could file a Haebus Writ but it would be heard by the Manitoban courts that would have to give me leave to appeal to The Supreame Court Of Canada also Canada does not have a constitution or foundation document.
It does have The Canadian Charter or rights and freedoms but it has no teeth it was P.E.T,s project something He would be remembered for nothing more.
I followed Rod Brecht,s advice I was a total mess I needed to get out of jail and get to Arkansas to find out about Gracen I was so sure Gracen had died or was in hospital I had been in jail for 6 weeks and nothing from Gracen I could not accept any other reason that Gracen could not be there for me.
The night before I was sentenced I schmozed a jail guard and had 20 mins on the internet checking the Greyhound Schedule to Little Rock I was sitting in the courtroom with the print out of Greyhound buses to Little Rock.
The jail give a discharge grant of 400 CDN being about 320 USD and that would get me to Little Rick then onto Russelville Gracens hick town.
I was so sure Gracen had died or was in The ICU I could accept no other explanation.
All this time Gracen was running around and spending My money and it was Clinton that pulled strings to make my life hell in Manitoba and it was Clinton that pulled strings so I got a 2 year sentence.
I have read case law and the longest sentence for harasment was 6 months I was to get 2 years.
I entered my plea and that was diffcult pleading guilty to harassing the woman that murdered my daughter and took 550k USD from me.
Then the judge sent to jail for 2 years.
Even then it took me months to relieze that Elizabeth Gracen was very much alive and evil spending my money.
I was to spend 16 months in a Manitoban jail as an innocent man and in all that time thatvile evil woman Elizabeth Gracen could not even stick a New York Times or a pack of smokes in an envelope.
Manitoba is hell the racist criminal justice system just propagates petty recidivism amongst native kids they are not crimanals they are kids that need love and understanding.
The young native kids were good to me always giving me ciggies in all that time in jail that vile evil woman Elizabeth Gracen could not even send me a pack of smokes.
Manitoba is a perverse shit kickers province and the way they treat young native people in their late teens and 20,s is perverse they need love and understanding and Manitoba gives them jail.
I went throught 16 months of hell in jail as an innocent man I was on hunger strike for 39 days but without media and people advocating for you a hunger strike is pointless.
So many people knew of who I was and of the charity I tried to setup I was innocent in jail and still trying to set up a charity I was sending out a lot of mail and it was being fowarded by a sack of shit by the name of Bill Keller The Editor of The New York Times.
So many people knew I was an innocent man in jail and not a single person would advocate for me not a single person on the planet could even send me an xmas card or birithday.
I contacted that vile sack of shit from Idaho still trying to set up a charity I asked Her to help me to help others if that vile woman had just opened Her mouth I would not have spent 16 months in jail as an innocent man.
The media ignored me at the request of Bruckheimer or Clinton but the media could not have ignored Her all She had to do was open Her mouth and I would have been a free man.
However the vile sack of shit chose to play sick and perverse games with my head all She had to do was opem Her mouth and I would have been free.
Sittingin an internet cafe in Dublin this city is so ugly and this country stole months of My life from Me and I return and I do not get sorry but more cruelty and perversity.
A song is on the radio remembering happier days fucking somebody from thje band in the rest rooms at The Mean Fiddler a club in Harlsden in London I was so happy then I used to be the happiest guy in the world before Elizabeth Gracen raped my soul.
If I could just be happy once more the way I was that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen could keep every penny I was so fucking happy before Gracen.
Thejail in Manitoba was hell think of an electric chair without the electric I spent 11 days strapped in one of those covered in my own shit and piss as that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen spent my money.
Can anybody wonder why I despise Elizabeth Gracen I do not want Gracen to die as death is to good for the vile abomanation but in the 2 years I spent on the streets of Paris begging due to Elizabeth Gracen I came up with 2073 ways of killing Gracen some of them ever so esoteric.
Justice is all I want.
The jail in Manitoba ran by vulgar uneducated hicks a wonderful example of uneducated puritan Manitoban minds is in Manitoba they have 2 papers The Winnipeg Press that is a broadsheet but the writing style is tabloid If You are a good journalist you are not going to stay in Manitoba.
The paper is fucking awful and I had this vile man from the paper point His posion pen at me He writes like crap He is a reporter not a journalist.
However I diegress the point I am trying to make is the paper cannot be understood by young native kids that have little education their paper of choice is The Winnipeg Sun the gutter press but that paper IST VERBODEN in the jail as it has a picture of a lady in a bikinni.
The powers that run the jail seem to think that looking at ladies in a bikinni,s causes crime.
The paper is banned in the jail but mags about guns and killing Bambi is allowed.
Welcome to Manitoba The Hick Capitol Of Canada a truly awful vulgar province.
I have said this so many times all I want in this world is for that evil woman Elizabeth Gracen to suffer in jail that is all I want.
I feel like shit Dublin is so depressing an ugly city with nothing going for it and Ireland has wronged me I had hoped for kindness and sorry but that is the same as a drowning man hopes that a boat will come along.
I want to go to the airport and either fly to Bangkok or find a magic plane that will fly me back to NYC 1997 I was so alive then and now due to Elizabeth Gracen I am so dead and I have been for years.
I will never ever hear a child say DAD.
I will never ever be the man I was before that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen raped my soul that man was so alive and happy that man was butchered to death by that evil vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen.
I have about 4 euro in my pocket and about 10 euro in the bank and Gracen has my money.
I miss NYC so much She was My friend,lover and teacher for 13 years She never ever failed me for over 4 years tried to get home to NYC I no longer want to but if I had have returned to NYC years ago I would have been whole again.
If I had found a single person that screamed what has been done to Chris is evil and I will help him I could have healed.
I think of that vile perverse woman from Idaho and for all Her millions She knows nothing about kindness or decency just a vile vapid morally bankrupt woman that is so fucking ugly on the inside and I wish I knew what was the matter with me for I once thought this woman was stunning on the inside but She is fucking ugly and dark on the inside.
I spent 16 months as an innocent man in Headingley Correctional Center just outside Manitoba and in all that time that vile abomanation Elizabeth Gracen never even felt any sense of guilt to send me a packet of smokes or a paper not even at xmas or my birithday.
My time in jail was comming to an end NYC bound I thought 16 months of hell was comming to an end.
I WILL FINISH THIS BY THE 10TH I EXPECT BUT LITTLE FUCKING POINT YOU KNOW THAT FUCKING AWFUL WOMAN FROM IDAHO COULD HAVE HELPED ME HEAL BUT SICK IN THE FUCKING HEAD
IF ANYBODY WANTS TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED WITH DM TO MAKE HER SO CRUEL PERVERSE DARK AND UGLY INSIDE PLEASE DO
CHRIS@CHRISHEPBURN.COM